Hungerstuck
by NaluCibastianSatomiLlight
Summary: Hunger Games and Homestuck crossover. Does contain some bad language so if you dont like it dont read.


**Homestuck and Hunger Games Crossover**

 **Hey my Fuzzy-waffles! This fanfic will contain both Homestuck and Hunger games characters. Jane, Roxy, Dirk and Jake will be the alpha versions, and Dave and the other three will be the betas.**

 **Also please disregard any shit I say about the Hunger Games, as I absolutely adore the books and the films, please don't murder me, I'm too young to die :'(**

 **Unfortunately I own nothing… But if I did things would be very, very different**

 **}:D**

 **(Hint: Davesprite wouldn't have gotten all that shit from John)**

 **Davesprite: sweet**

 **Plus I may or may not ship DirkJake a little…**

 **On with the madness!**

 **?'S POV**

 _Those damn brats were so hard to catch. The moment I captured one another would fly past and snatch them right back. It was ridiculous, trying to keep an eye on all of them at once, especially the two that seemed capable of teleportation, because if I didn't constantly watch them they would vanish and throw quick surprise attacks from behind. But once I managed to bring them down the rest were easier by far, for upon their disposal the others became enraged and reckless. Blondie 1 was taken down during a dangerous manoeuvre that if not spotted could have cost me my life. The other blond male attempted to defend the first and was quickly shot down and added to the steadily rising pile of 'unconscious' teens. With them down the others were a stroll in the park, a simple but powerful backhand instantly knocking out the one in booty shorts, and teargas rendered the remaining four teens down for the count._

 _Heh~ I guess this mission really was more fun than I expected…_

 **?: Be Dave**

 **You can't be Dave yet, because Dave is unconscious!**

 **What will you do?**

 **?: Be John**

You are now John Egbert, and your head really fucking hurts. You have absolutely no idea how you got here, or even where you are for that matter. Last thing you remember is arguing with Dave and his bro about the possibility that AJ is really just a fancy brand of piss. They obviously shunned your theory, despite the fact that it is completely sound, and most likely true in every way! After that everything goes really hazy, but when you tried really hard to remember the rest you keep hearing a scream echoing in your ears, a scream that sounds eerily familiar. Your body is a patchwork of yellow tinged bruises, and if you had to guess you think you've been out for three or four days. Surrounding you is a lush orchard alive with the sounds of scurrying animals and- footsteps!? On an impulse you quickly drag yourself into a thicket of trees, despite knowing in your heart that it is useless to hide. Just HOW you know this however is beyond you. The footsteps slowly grow closer, a soothing symphony to your aching head. You know you really should be trying to find out where you are, but you're just so tired…..

 **John: Be Dave**

 **I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU, YOU CAN'T BE DAVE, BECAUSE HE IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS! CHOSE SOMEONE ELSE IDIOT!**

 **Fine fine….**

 **John: Be Dirk**

You are now Dirk Strider, and you are fucking PISSED! You remember EVERYTHING that happened, including Dave's futile attempt to protect you. What the fuck was he thinking?! If he'd have died you wouldn't have been able to live with yourself. Not only that, but the piece of shit that attacked you deliberately hit your pressure points, effectively paralyzing you, but not effecting your consciousness in the least. That little bastard did it on purpose, making you watch your friends get beaten mercilessly whilst you lay immobile, screaming inside. He kept you awake for the entire horrible endeavour, but went on to teargas you anyway! Seriously who the fuck does that?! Luckily you have devised a scheme, one that's outcome will greatly benefit you and all of your friends…

 **Dirk: Set plan in motion**

 **(Dirk's mysterious scheme being interesting and all, I have decided to be an insufferable prick and make you be someone else** **)**

 **Dirk: Be someone else**

You are _finally_ Dave Strider, and you can't see shit! You seriously doubt that your glasses are helping in the least, that and the fact that it is pitch black outside, that is if you actually are outside at all… you seem to be alone in what you have gathered to be a densely wooded area.

 **What will you do?**

 **Dave: Remove shades**

Oh _**hell**_ no. You are a STRIDER. And Striders never. Remove. Their. Shades. Just _no_. You have been raised not to, and consequently, never will. Did Bro ever remove his shades? No he did not. Has Dirk? Well now you say it like that, of course- Oh wait… He hasn't. This is the Strider way of life, and you can hate all you want, but it's never gonna change, EVER. You may or may not have just yelled that- and probably given away your current location to anyone within a five mile radius... Well shit. Bro is probably cursing you from whatever pit of lava he is chilling in- heh~

Even thinking about Bro is starting to make your eyes sting, and you should probably stop before you start bawling like a little bitch. Talking of him… where's Dirk? You haven't seen him and are getting just the tiniest bit worried, not that you'd ever admit to it though. It might be a good idea to find him though, as his weird soul-destroyey powers could come in handy and if you're honest with yourself he is a way better fighter anyway, flash stepping aside.

 **Dave: Find alternate universe dude**

After about 2 hours of wandering about you have determined:

Dirk either isn't here or really doesn't want to be found

You know jack-shit in relation to how you got here

You know jack-shit about where you are in general

Trees' favourite pastimes are A: tripping you up and B: Getting in your way constantly

You are almost 100% sure that John is a homosexual (99.9999999999%)

You despise trees

Shades + darkness= health hazard and/or death wish

Rocks can be pointy as fuck

You are fucking lonely

Oh shit did you just seriously think that last one?! Awwww man that severely blowed-

 **PCHOOO!**

What the ever loving fuck was that- holy shit is that an arrow?! Where the fuck are you the Hunger games!?

 **About a year l8tr ::::D … (VRISKA NO!)**

Yep… You are in the Hunger games, district twelve to be exact. You are soooo fucking glad you and Bro watched that piece of shit movie for ironic purposes, even though neither of you appreciated it at the time. Guess what day it is!

Today is reaping day, or raping day, whichever tickles your pickle. And you are stuck in a crowd full of sweaty hormonal teens. Your finger throbs faintly from the blood sample they took, like seriously, you know they have to do this to thousands of snivelling brats but they could have gone about it way better. The 'mayor' is reading the longest and possibly boringist speech ever, seriously who would want to be the mayor of this dump, Can Town was way better. Not to mention the fact that the real mayor is way better, with his cute sash and mayorly pride. You should most likely stop zoning out and listen to this stupid-ass speech though. Hmmmm… Nah.

Despite your refusal to listen a distressed scream pulls you straight out of your day-dream, and back to harsh reality. A young girl is being carried away from the stage by a tall older boy with an air that kinda reminds you of Bro. Oh right… the midget is Primrose and Bro- GOGDAMMIT- the tall guy is Gale. But you don't give a shit. Time to abscond right back out of reality.

Blah blah Katniss Everdeen Blah blah blah Bet my hat Blah blah blah Drunk guy falls off stage Blah blah Boys Blah blah blah blah David Strider Blah bla- WAIT WHAT!? You once again snap out of your trance to look at the pink haired witch on stage. Hmm you must have just imagined it.

Effie: David Strider? David Elizabeth Strider?

Well… at least that clears shit up for the countless other David Striders in the crowd. And kinda seals your fate. You guess they were running a little short on Peetas and just decided 'Fuck it! Let's use the kid with the funniest name instead, bet everyone will get a kick out of that!'. Yeah… that's probably it. Public humiliation aside, you have a stage to go stand on like a pompous asshole. Yeah, they wish. There is the square root of jack shit percent chance that you would even contemplate this course of action, ironically or otherwise.

You decide taking a casual approach to this would be better, and with your hands buried in your pockets stride confidently onto the stage all whilst maintaining a solid 'I don't give a fuck' expression that would make your Bro proud.

Effie: Now shake hands!

Jeez, pushy much? You will shake hands when you feel it is necessary, and that would be just about never. After your brief three second interlude you receive such a strong death glare from your pink aggressor that you begrudgingly shake hands with your opponent, but only because you don't want to look like a complete asshole, not because of this 'Effie'. Her hand feels clammy but you suppose yours probably does too, because seriously, you're in the fucking hunger games! After all, you can't hide ALL of your emotions behind your shades, no matter how much you'd like to. Your eyes meet through your shades and you both nod simultaneously before letting go. You are then both ushered off the stage and into the justice building, (the irony of its name almost makes you laugh). The room you are shoved into almost makes you want to puke, the garish velvet sofas and plush cushions looking disgustingly clean, so you opt to sit on the dusty floor instead. The hard planks dig into your ass but you'll have to make do. After about half an hour you succumb to boredom and start doodling in the dust, and are taken by surprise when the door comes open and none other than Katniss' family and the tall dude come in. It takes them a moment to pinpoint your location, having expected to find you on the sofas.

Katniss' Mum: Hello…

You half nod your head in acknowledgement, and flick your hand towards one of the seating apparatus, and they all seat themselves. Then Prim bursts into tears. Well shit.

Dave: Fuck… Don't cry kid

The words tumble out of your mouth unbidden and you mentally slap yourself. Of course the kid is crying, her sister is possibly gonna die, hell you'd probably cry if you were placed in her position. You receive a fully loaded death glare from Gale who grabs you by your collar and lifts you clean off of the floor.

Katniss' Mum: Gale NO!

Gale: You hear me brat?! If you hurt Katniss you'll pay-

He is cut short rather abruptly when you grab his wrist and twist it, forcing him to let go. You land on your feet effortlessly (well duh) and fix him with a glare of your own.

Dave: You listen to _me_ you worthless piece of shit, I will not let you fucking manhandle me. I have no intention of hurting her, or anyone else for that matter. All I want is to find my friends, my _family_ and if you stand in my way I _will_ cut you down I s-swear-

Holy shit you're crying, _crying_ and they are just stood there gaping at you like idiots as tears cut pale streaks into your dusty skin. You can't believe yourself, you just fucking cried, in front of the family of someone who will most likely be hell bent on killing you. Gale looks guilty as fuck and awkwardly stares at the floor. With one hand you wipe your eyes, thankful that your shades will hide your red rimmed eyes completely and erase all evidence this ever happened. At the back of your mind you hear a faint soothing voice that sounds all too familiar, but it is too quiet to make out what it is saying, but none the less it seems to calm you anyway. You open your mouth to say something to them, but the door swings open and a peacekeeper gestures for them to go with him/her. They take one last look at you before leaving, leaving you to wallow in your pit of endless sorrows.

All too soon the door reopens and you are marched out to the train platform where you are bombarded from all sides by cameras, but you have already hardened your resolve and nod nonchalantly at the closest one. Another three steps and you are on the train and they melt away into a green and silver blur. Effie is bouncing around happily and attempts to initiate a conversation with you, only to be stonewalled by a simple raised eyebrow only just visible over your black out shades. You would rather follow your mentor's example and jump off of a stage than waste your precious time talking to her. Everything in here is way too fancy for your tastes, even the carpeted floor looks spotless, leaving it completely out of the question. With a sigh you sit down on the hardest looking chair you can find. Katniss, clearly sharing your opinion, comes and flops onto a matching chair next to you.

You both remain this way until you have had more than enough and get up to go and look for your room. It takes a while to find it, this train is a fucking maze! When you finally get there you are disgusted by the putrid shade of pink, fucking _pink_ , that the walls are painted in. Why pink of all colours? Why not red or blue, fuck, anything but pink?! You throw yourself down on the bed and find your mind drifting back to your friends. You have attempted to contact your friends via pesterchum, but it seems that district twelve has no fucking Wifi. The gift of gab also proved completely fucking USELESS, because when you tried to use it you got no response whatsoever.

After about an hour you head back to the main room. You grab yourself an apple juice, by fuck have you missed it. Bored as fuck, you and Katniss switch on the TV and flick through the channels, until you find a recap of the reapings. Figuring, hey you have nothing better to do. District 1's female tribute is called Glimmer. Seriously who names their child Glimmer? The male is called- Jake English?! You spit out the AJ you were just drinking, and lean closer towards then screen. Sure enough, you find yourself looking at your brother's geeky, bespectacled boyfriend. Holy mother of fuck. No way in hell is this a coincidence. Katniss throws you a questioning look, which you blatantly ignore. District 2… No one you know, District 3- still… Wait who is that? The name called out is Daniel Saunders, a boy with floppy platinum-blond hair and a bandage around his eyes. He has to be helped up to the stage by a young girl but still manages to stumble a couple of times. But you could swear you've seen him before. You get out a notepad and start to write down this shit.

 _Fem Male_

 _District 1 Glimmer Jake English_

 _District 2 Clove Cato_

 _District 3 Unknown Daniel Saunders?_

 _District 4 Rose Lalonde Unknown_

 _District 5 Unknown Unknown_

 _District 6 Jade Harley Unknown_

 _District 7 Unknown Unknown_

 _District 8 Jane Crocker Unknown_

 _District 9 Roxy Lalonde Unknown_

 _District 10 Unknown Unknown_

 _District 11 Rue John Egbert_

 _District 12 Katniss Dave Strider_

Katniss: What are you doing?

Katniss' voice snaps you back to reality, and you look up from your little table to see what she wants. Eyes glued to your little chart, Katniss looks more than a little confused. Well fuck… you really messed up this time didn't you. You open your mouth to answer and are thankfully saved by a mechanical voice informing you the District three train has broken down and now you are all stuck behind it till it is repaired. Wait… If you are stuck, doesn't that mean all the other trains between will be to?

 **Dave: Go look outside**

Your theory proves to be correct, for along the tracks there is a line of stationary trains. You swiftly climb out of the nearest window to join the jumble of grumbling tributes. They seem to be mostly sticking to their districts, with only the careers and a group of six off to one side… You feel your heart skip a beat as a member of the smaller aforementioned group turns around- and promptly tackles you to the ground.

?: DAAAAVE!

Hovering inches above your face is the face of none other than your best friend in the entire universe (well several universes), John Egbert.

 **Right, you've had just about enough of being Dave!**

 **Choose someone else?**

 **Dave: Be District three girl**

You are now the district three girl, and you must say… your district partner is acting rather oddly. For a boy who had difficulty walking in a straight line with assistance, he seems awfully capable. You decide hey, if you're going to be stuck on a train for the next couple of days, you might as well get aquatinted with him. Because in all honesty, you have absolutely nothing left to lose, so why suffer in silence when you have a certain rather irritating blond to take your anger out on? But when you open your mouth to start what was sure to go down in history as one of the longest and most pointless tirades in all of paradox-space, when you were rudely cut off by the boy turning the TV on. Just who does he think he is! What the ever-living fuck was the point in turning it on!? It's not like he can _see_ anything at all whilst wearing that infernal bandage! Why on earth does he need the bloody thing anyway?

Timing seems to be on his side however, because literally seconds after he turns the channel over, a recap of the reapings comes on. You decide you might as well take a look at your competition, but if the rest of them are anything like your pathetic excuse of a district partner then these games will be a piece of cake! The district one girl doesn't look like much at all, but goddamn the boy makes up for her tenfold. He has these pair of nerdy rectangular glasses and a set of slightly crooked buck-teeth, topped off with a mop of messy black hair, but still manages to look absolutely adorable. You have to choke down a laugh at just how utterly helpless little Daniel looks through the eyes of the camera. You don't think he'll even last the bloodbath. The rest of the program goes with a couple more cute boys, but that is just about all it has to offer really. During the entire show he doesn't so much as move a muscle, so needless to say when he suddenly jolts to his feet, you are more than a little surprised.

 **You've only been this bitch for about an hour and you're already sick and tired of her bullshit.**

 **District three girl: Be someone-** _ **anyone**_ **else!**

You are now Jake English and you are feeling extremely lonely. You spent the entirety of yesterday ignoring the cheesy pickup lines and blatantly obvious advances of your district partner. It really made you want to slap her across the bloody face but at the same time you felt like sitting in a corner and crying your heart out. You miss all your chums, you miss Jane and Roxy, but most of all you miss Dirk. To be honest you don't even feel up to getting up out of bed. But of course you have to, because today you and your fellow tributes will arrive in the capitol. The opening ceremony won't start until tomorrow however, because the District three train broke down, leaving all but four of you stranded until it was patched up. Oh and did you mention you will have to fight all of your friends, except for Dirk it seems, to the death?! No, you don't think you did.

 **I HAVE WRITTEN ENOUGH 5 NOW**

 **TILL NEXT TIME MA FUZZY WAFFLES!**


End file.
